On Loyalty

Loyalty: faithfulness to commitments or obligations [Citation]

At the end of March, I said I was going to write a series on loyalty. I began writing multiple times, but loyalty is such a difficult topic about which to write. We can all think of good and bad examples of loyalty, so to approach the subject as if loyalty is always good would be erroneous. And my initial question, "who has your back?" is actually misleading.

Who has your back?

At times, loyalty depends on perspective. How so? If you are planning something that doesn't meet even your own standard, if your own thought process is "wrong," then is a person disloyal for not going along with your bad idea? I'm not just referring to extreme examples such as suicide, homicide, criminal acts, etc. There are times when we all have bad ideas and may make poor choices. Even in the military, I'm not expected to follow an unlawful order.

So, going back to the definition of loyalty--faithfulness to commitments or obligations--what does it mean to be loyal? I believe that loyalty is standing up for what is right and saving the person to whom you are loyal from making a poor choice or bad decision; loyalty is trusting when not all the facts are known; loyalty is a two-way street.

On Loyalty: Initial Thoughts

" . . . Though they all fall away because of you, I will never fall away." Matthew 26:33

Peter said this to Christ and subsequently denied him no less than three times. So why am I beginning a series on loyalty with an example of seeming betrayal? Because despite his denial of Christ, there is no arguing his absolute loyalty exhibited by his role in spreading early Christianity.

Peter's loyalty was true, but his denial was a result of fear. Yes, I'm bringing up fear again. Fear can cause sane people to do crazy things, and it can cause any one of us to do things we later regret. So what is loyalty?

I'll begin with what loyalty is not. Loyalty is not blindly following or agreeing. Loyalty is the quality of being faithful, and it requires trust. And trust is difficult to build, harder to rebuild once broken. Therefore, if you expect loyalty, begin by being trustworthy. Hold tight to your integrity--without it, you will have nothing.

Who has your back?

For the past few weeks, my focus has been fear. Fear not, I'll move on to another topic: loyalty. Loyalty is very important to me. What is loyalty? A loyal person "has your back."

Who has your back?

Fear of Change

"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change." Charles Darwin

I've been writing about fear, and my intention was to continue the series each Saturday. Unfortunately, last weekend I spent in bed with the flu, and I had an extremely busy work week. But I've been thinking about the topic and my recent quest for information via Facebook, and I realized that I'm not so eager to reveal my greatest fear--to anyone. Only a handful of people know what I truly fear . . . and no, I'm not going to reveal it in my blog. But I've noticed some common fears among people, and one of the major fears appears to be the fear of change.

I believe fear of change is really fear of the unknown. It seems easier to cling to what one knows rather then to step out and wander into the unknown. Unfortunately, this is what keeps people in dysfunctional relationships, stagnant work situations, living locations with little room for upward mobility, the list goes on. It can also keep business owners and managers from making key decisions.

I realize that I'm making change sound like it's always a good thing--it isn't. Effecting change merely for the sake of change isn't good. There's a saying in the Army when we hear of changes that don't make sense, "Just think, someone got promoted because of this."  It's never hard to find someone looking for something to change just to get attention. Unfortunately, this fuels people's fear of healthy change.

Change can be difficult, to be sure. But I believe change for the better should be embraced. It can be painful at first, but the results can be well worth the effort.

Fitness and Nutrition Tracker

As many of you know, I'm training for another event,  Nike Women's Half in DC. With my recent injury and the asthma treatments I've been undergoing, I've felt very "out-of-shape." So I've kicked it up a notch and have changed everything I'm doing to train--eating, rest, workouts . . . everything. My challenge was tracking everything.

Then a friend introduced me to LiveStrong's online tracker. It's amazing, and it's free. With it, I'm tracking my weight, food intake/calories, and workouts. The calorie tracker has a search function to make tracking easier. If you are having the same challenge, I encourage you to check it out!

I'm so motivated--bring it on!

What do you most fear?

Oath of Office - June 2009

I posed this question to roughly 600 connections on FaceBook. I invited them to respond privately, and I promised not to reveal names. Two people responded.

I am not surprised. Sharing that which we fear exposes vulnerability, and these days many of us feel especially vulnerable. The two respondents shared the same fear: the fear of insignificance, not making a difference. One explained like this, "on the day of your funeral, no one comes." I think this is a common fear, but it is a manageable fear--if we want to make a difference, we have to get up and do something. I can relate; my life needs purpose. This was one of the drivers behind my decision to serve my country in the Army reserve.

Fear can drive people to do some amazing things and rise to new heights. But fear can also cause people to stand frozen in place when they should take action. This leads me to my next question:

How do you respond to fear?

Don't be afraid

"Don't be afraid to see what you see."  Ronald Reagan

If a person can have a theme, this is mine: do not be afraid. Yet, when I look around me, I see fear everywhere. And there are times when I almost succumb . . . almost. At these times, something always happens, a song plays, a homily comes to mind, and I'm back on track--my fear is gone.


"Don't be afraid, but be cautious." Fr. Mike McDermott, St. Charles Borromeo Catholic Church

Father was describing a hike up Mt. Rainier along a deadly precipice. I'm very passionate, and at times I feel like throwing caution to the wind. These are times when a little fear is healthy, and I'm learning to heed that fear and hold onto caution. After all, falling off a cliff isn't the ending one hopes for while on an adventure. Balancing fear and caution is important, and frankly, I prefer to avoid cliffs.

I've been looking for writing topics, and it's been a struggle. There are so many things I can't say for various reasons--perhaps there is an element of fear that I don't want to admit. I thought about writing about running, health, fitness, etc. But I've done that already. So I'm going to change things up a little; I'm going to write about fear. It will be a challenge, but I thrive on challenges!

What do you fear?