Fear of Change

"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change." Charles Darwin

I've been writing about fear, and my intention was to continue the series each Saturday. Unfortunately, last weekend I spent in bed with the flu, and I had an extremely busy work week. But I've been thinking about the topic and my recent quest for information via Facebook, and I realized that I'm not so eager to reveal my greatest fear--to anyone. Only a handful of people know what I truly fear . . . and no, I'm not going to reveal it in my blog. But I've noticed some common fears among people, and one of the major fears appears to be the fear of change.

I believe fear of change is really fear of the unknown. It seems easier to cling to what one knows rather then to step out and wander into the unknown. Unfortunately, this is what keeps people in dysfunctional relationships, stagnant work situations, living locations with little room for upward mobility, the list goes on. It can also keep business owners and managers from making key decisions.

I realize that I'm making change sound like it's always a good thing--it isn't. Effecting change merely for the sake of change isn't good. There's a saying in the Army when we hear of changes that don't make sense, "Just think, someone got promoted because of this."  It's never hard to find someone looking for something to change just to get attention. Unfortunately, this fuels people's fear of healthy change.

Change can be difficult, to be sure. But I believe change for the better should be embraced. It can be painful at first, but the results can be well worth the effort.

Fitness and Nutrition Tracker

As many of you know, I'm training for another event,  Nike Women's Half in DC. With my recent injury and the asthma treatments I've been undergoing, I've felt very "out-of-shape." So I've kicked it up a notch and have changed everything I'm doing to train--eating, rest, workouts . . . everything. My challenge was tracking everything.

Then a friend introduced me to LiveStrong's online tracker. It's amazing, and it's free. With it, I'm tracking my weight, food intake/calories, and workouts. The calorie tracker has a search function to make tracking easier. If you are having the same challenge, I encourage you to check it out!

I'm so motivated--bring it on!

What do you most fear?

Oath of Office - June 2009

I posed this question to roughly 600 connections on FaceBook. I invited them to respond privately, and I promised not to reveal names. Two people responded.

I am not surprised. Sharing that which we fear exposes vulnerability, and these days many of us feel especially vulnerable. The two respondents shared the same fear: the fear of insignificance, not making a difference. One explained like this, "on the day of your funeral, no one comes." I think this is a common fear, but it is a manageable fear--if we want to make a difference, we have to get up and do something. I can relate; my life needs purpose. This was one of the drivers behind my decision to serve my country in the Army reserve.

Fear can drive people to do some amazing things and rise to new heights. But fear can also cause people to stand frozen in place when they should take action. This leads me to my next question:

How do you respond to fear?

Don't be afraid

"Don't be afraid to see what you see."  Ronald Reagan

If a person can have a theme, this is mine: do not be afraid. Yet, when I look around me, I see fear everywhere. And there are times when I almost succumb . . . almost. At these times, something always happens, a song plays, a homily comes to mind, and I'm back on track--my fear is gone.


"Don't be afraid, but be cautious." Fr. Mike McDermott, St. Charles Borromeo Catholic Church

Father was describing a hike up Mt. Rainier along a deadly precipice. I'm very passionate, and at times I feel like throwing caution to the wind. These are times when a little fear is healthy, and I'm learning to heed that fear and hold onto caution. After all, falling off a cliff isn't the ending one hopes for while on an adventure. Balancing fear and caution is important, and frankly, I prefer to avoid cliffs.

I've been looking for writing topics, and it's been a struggle. There are so many things I can't say for various reasons--perhaps there is an element of fear that I don't want to admit. I thought about writing about running, health, fitness, etc. But I've done that already. So I'm going to change things up a little; I'm going to write about fear. It will be a challenge, but I thrive on challenges!

What do you fear?

Getting back on the horse . . .

Writing, running, tennis, the list goes on. What list, you ask? The list of things I haven't been doing lately. I'm recommitting myself to all of these endeavors, beginning with writing. The challenge is finding topics that are appropriate.

Yes, I took pictures from
the initial shots through
the final stitch

Running is high on my list of must-dos as well. The last race I finished was NWM '11 in San Francisco. I'm excited to say I'll be running with three other friends from Team in Training in NWM '13 in Washington, D.C. on April 28. I can't wait, but I'm not ready--I was injured shortly after Christmas, and I've been recovering from multiple stitches which became infected and a broken wrist. I still can't do push-ups, but I'm running. However, I face a long road ahead of me . . . but I'm ready to hit the road!

Yes!

Happy New Year!

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference." 

This past year was another year of traveling, and I traveled down some interesting roads (literally and figuratively!) in 2011.

Overall, it was a good year--filled with hope and anticipation. And I achieved some important goals. It feels great to review my bucket list, check off items, and add new ones to the list.

2012--I am ready for you! This is going to be a wonderful year, and I'm excited to start my next adventure!

Cheers!

Merry Christmas!

A Season of Hope

Christmas at the Farm - 2010

I love Christmas--it's my favorite time of year! But I can't believe how quickly this year has flown by! This time last year I had just finished a contract in California, drove to Arizona, then flew to Washington for Christmas. After the new year, I spent 2011 primarily in school, and in uniform. I learned a lot this year--from both good and bad examples. And I made some great friends and great memories. The downside of 2011 was that I spent most of the year far away from the people I love.

2011 had its challenges--having pneumonia at the end of 2010 affected me physically most of the year, and it was tough being away from the people I love the most. But I grew--as a person, as a woman, and as an officer. I reconnected with old friends, I experienced new foods and climates (104 degrees in 100% humidity!), and I Skyped--alot! I'm so thankful for Skype, Facebook, email, cell phones . . . the list goes on. It isn't the same as being in the same room and certainly can't replace a hug, but it makes the world a much smaller place. I travel so much, yet I never feel alone--I am thankful for that.

I'm looking forward to 2012--I know it's going to be a wonderful year, full of happy surprises!


Merry Christmas everyone--have a safe and happy new year!

Lessons Learned

Somewhere at the bottom, under the water and 
the mud, lies a significant piece of my past. 
Moving forward is a good thing!

It's been a few years since I've spent time in Tampa--I spent a few months here back in 2007, but I haven't been back since. Things have changed since then . . .

Some of the restaurants I used to frequent are closed now, and construction projects have changed the landscape a bit. Of course, in 2007 it was all about the relationship I was in--I was deeply in love. This time, it's all about me and continuing my adventures in this crazy, wonderful life. It's good to be back.

I'm a different person now, and I'm viewing Tampa through new eyes. One thing I've discovered upon my return is that I'm learning lessons from people and circumstances that . . . surprise me. I must say that I'm happily surprised!

I'm thankful for all of my experiences, and I'm happy to be back in Tampa! Life is good!

Because freedom isn't free . . .

This is the flag flying by the San Pedro River
 in Arizona (near Ft. Huachuca)

Happy Veterans Day--and THANK YOU to all who have served and all who still serve! Remember, freedom isn't free.

Today was sunny, but chilly (and windy!). I went for my run by the water this morning, and most runners (including me) wore long sleeves, ear covering, etc. One brave woman was running in a sports bra and short running shorts--brrrrrrr! It was 47 degrees this morning (42 with wind chill factor).

These are the views I see when I run:

This view of the Tampa skyline makes me miss Seattle.
There is no better place than Seattle in the Summer . . .

This is a nice run--made me think of my runs along the
Columbia River on the Washington side. 

Life is good--cheers!

NWM 2011: Reflections

Soaking our tired feet in the Pacific Ocean

1. There is nothing quite like good friends coming together for a common cause.

2. Overcoming a challenge is exhilarating.

3. Cancer sucks. 


4. Bag Balm works better than Vaseline to prevent blisters.

"Julie" for a day! (My race shirt is in Arizona)

5. Cold saltwater feels wonderful on blistered feet.

6. It is unwise to run in new shoes (even if they are Mizunos).

7. Check the hotel room one more time before leaving (or don't forget a bottle of good wine in the hotel room).

Cheers!

8. Good friends + Irish pub (The Chieftain in San Francisco) = Win!

9. Don't park in a bad neighborhood (especially in a large city).

10. Remember to train before the next race. Really.

Facebook: is this a place for children?

Bottom line up front: I don't think children belong on Facebook.

Yes, Facebook is a fun place to connect, but even adults have been victimized via Facebook. Older kids, even college kids, have been bullied on Facebook. Some people think that kids can be on Facebook if properly monitored, but I disagree. Facebook has privacy issues, and kids just don't have the maturity and experience to deal with some of the issues that may be "faced" on Facebook. Facebook isn't just about playing games and posting pictures for your friends and family . . .  There are people who look for potential victims on Facebook--they look for children, women, etc. 

I am very careful with my own Facebook account--I wouldn't dream of allowing an elementary aged child to be on Facebook. Parents, grandparents, guardians . . . please think twice before allowing an elementary or middle school aged child to have an account on Facebook. Be a responsible adult and draw the line. I did.

Lost and found: a note from Tyler

Some things are just too sweet . . .  Tyler wrote this note to me in the Spring of 2007, and it remained on my refrigerator door for . . . years. I've since packed it safely away with other mementos, but my blog is my new "refrigerator door."

~ Tyler, 2007

Life is good, and I am very blessed. I'd rather be me than anyone else! Thank you, Tyler, for continuing to brighten my days--I love you!

Facebook: it's not me, it's you . . .

Dear Facebook,

It's not me, it's you. I've loved you--it's true. You have helped me connect to friends and family who are far, far away . . . You have helped me to share pictures, stories, good times and bad times; you have been there for me. You also have allowed me to learn things that have hurt--a lot. Yet through that I have grown . . .

But this time you have gone too far . . .  You are infringing on my privacy more than I imagined. My trust in you before was fragile, but now I have no trust in you at all.

I realize that you perceive your changes to be an enhancement for users, but every change you make appears to disrupt privacy settings. Every change you make requires me to check to see if my information is shared more than I feel comfortable sharing . . . And yes, your changes do change the settings previously set by users. I'm not happy about this, Facebook.

I want to be able to choose what I share on Facebook--I don't want to need to opt out by changing my privacy settings. Rather, if I want to share, let me take the time to share by posting on my own. You may think you are making things easier for me, but I'd like to close the door and have a little privacy. If I want to share, let me open the door--I don't need a butler.

Sincerely,

TK

Related:

Facebook is Scaring Me

"Not to decide is to decide"

Last week, we had a chaplain brief us on ethical decision making. He began with an exercise in which he divided the class into three groups. For the exercise, each group was on a raft that would sink unless one person were eliminated from the raft. One person on the raft was gravely injured, and no one could volunteer to leave the raft. The raft was floating in cold waters with no land in sight. Our task was to decide who would leave the raft.

Everyone felt uncomfortable with the task--no one wanted to throw a buddy overboard. There was a lot of discussion regarding this. Some people said they couldn't throw a person overboard. The chaplain told us that some classes have groups who say they will all go down together.

But, as Harvy Cox said, "not to decide is to decide." The decision not to throw one person overboard, thereby saving everyone else in the raft, is really the decision to throw everyone in the raft overboard. Everyone will die. There isn't a winning solution, but there is a best decision.

Sometimes leadership is difficult--often leadership is difficult. Our exercise was extreme, but the intent was to get us to think. In the corporate world, deciding whom to lay off during hard economic times isn't easy either, but most managers won't say "let's all go down together." Deciding whom to lay off isn't an easy decision. But the more there is to lose, the harder it is to make the decision.

Are you up to the task? If you are in a situation where no solution is a clear "win," can you make the best decision?

Nail Salon

Yes, I get my mani-pedi even while training . . .

Shoot, move, and communicate . . .

Life continues to be busy here at Ft. Jackson--today I qualified on the M4 . . . during pre-qualification. I was happy because it was already "Heat CAT V," REALLY hot. I left the range to work on disbursing operations (lots of forms, figures, and calculations). I'm looking forward to this weekend so I can study, work on distance learning modules in resource management, and rest. I wish I had more time to write, but my writing wouldn't be very exciting right now . . . unless you like forms! ;)


Technically, we are finished with our "core" learning, but we aren't really finished--we still have our FTX toward the end of August. We will be spending a few days in a FOB working with students in other schools here at Ft. Jackson on finance operations in the field. Plus, we will go on our live convoy then (already trained on a simulator)--I get to drive a Humvee . . . (I don't think they saw me drive before my selection) . . .  ;)

Oh, you know life is good . . .  Cheers!

It's all fun and games . . . till it's time to take a test!

Actually, last week wasn't fun and games. I just wrote a paragraph about the things we learned last week, then I remembered OPSEC and deleted everything I wrote. Anyhow, it was an interesting week, a little break from finance. 

However, we have distance learning modules to work on during our "free" time. Tonight I finished a module on mission funding. Tomorrow, I'll complete three budgeting modules complete with exams. Everything we are getting on resource management is via distance learning. The online courses aren't bad, but as an instructional systems designer, I can't help but evaluate them as I'm completing them . . .  There's always room for improvement, right?

Cheers!

Decisions, decisions . . .

Chesepeake Bay

I'm planning to move to Tampa in September . . . but I visited Washington, DC for Independence weekend, and now I'm wondering if moving to Tampa is the best decision for me. I still think it is, but I keep getting calls from recruiters. Today, I had a recruiter call about a job in Bellevue, WA  . . . tempting! However, I told the recruiter that I'm not interested (this time--I definitely left the door open!); I want to make the best decision . . .  for my family and for me.

Longworth House Office Building

I interned in DC many years ago (wonderful experience! I worked in Longworth House Office Building), and I love the city . . . but there's something about Tampa (good memories?) . . . and the job is a very good fit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

South Carolina

I'm still loving Ft. Jackson. I wouldn't choose to live long term in Columbia, but I'm enjoying my time here. Our class has really bonded, and our instructors are wonderful. I can't think of anything negative to say, although I'm not excited about sharing space with the snakes next week (land nav)!

Last (but not least!)

Happy birthday to my best friend, Lance! Be safe, and be blessed!

Life is good--I am so blessed!

Cheers!

Living the dream!

I went to Charleston last weekend
with a friend--fun!

Life is crazy busy right now, and crazy good. Last week, we took the APFT, and this week we celebrated both the Army's birthday and the Finance Corps' birthday . . . OK, we were busy with more than birthday celebrations . . .

Our first assignment was due today, and we have distance learning modules to complete as well. I'll be studying this weekend.

There's so much more that I could write about . . . My class is going to take the new APRT while we're here (pilot testing . . . kind of). I'll try to make time to write more this weekend.

Hooah!